Enjoy the Silence
by cause.A.scene
Summary: *Spoilers for Amplification* - A tag or something like that . Basically, it's the team love I missed for a fallen colleague and friend. Focuses more on the team's concern for Reid and maybe later a bit more inside into his recovery.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: **Okay, I figured I would be writing a tag to Amplification at some point or other because I am a bit Reid-whump fan and sicknesses are one of my favorite story lines. However, I did not anticipate such a disappointing ending (at least for a Reid hurt/COMFORT fan). The episode itself was great though. Love a good disease/quarantine story. Anyway, this story is not the kind of thing I thought I'd be doing, but it is instead me adding what I wish I had seen but I tried to keep it as close to the episode as possible.

**Warning: **Spoilers for Amplification.Possibly very slightly AU. This is kind of intended to be inserted in between all of the phone calls to loved ones, but some things might not add up perfectly. And all the mistakes are my own. Not beta'd.

**Disclaimer: **Not my show or characters. Just adding to the fun.

Enjoy :)

**Enjoy the Silence**

* * *

They gathered in the waiting room as they had done way too many times when waiting for someone they cared about. The team was no stranger to hospitals and waiting rooms, not that the experience ever made the wait any easier and this time it seemed particularly painful. The fact that anthrax was being spread throughout the city meant that everything, including their [potentially] dying colleague and friend was to be pushed aside until the threat was terminated.

Apart from a few mentions of his condition here and there, Hotch had made sure to keep the remaining team members from dwelling on Reid too long in fear that it would cloud their ability to complete the task at hand. He had been right, of course, but now that the unsub had been apprehended, they couldn't help but feel a certain amount of guilt at the thought of Reid had being alone at the hospital for hours with no one by his side.

As it was, none of them knew the condition of the young agent at all. After an hour or so of receiving updates from Dr. Kimura, the calls had stopped coming, apparently due to her understanding the necessity of keeping the team focused. However, now that they could and wanted to hear about Reid, no one was telling them anything.

After Brown had been captured, however, the team had all decided to make their way as quickly as possible to the hospital to check on Reid.

Derek Morgan couldn't sit still. He never really could when he was in this position; in a waiting room dying to know information on someone he cared about. And Reid was so different than anyone else. He couldn't explain it other than saying the kid was like his brother. The need to protect him was so overwhelming to Morgan sometimes, it surprised him. It nearly killed him the moment he saw the broken beaker of white powder in the room with Reid.

"Where is Kimura?" he demanded to anyone that would listen. "We've been working right beside her this whole time, and yet now, she's disappeared."

Yes, he was angry. He was fuming, in fact. Why was Reid in that hospital room, possibly bleeding from his damn lungs while the rest of them, Morgan in particular, were fine? Morgan had been right beside Reid at one point, and then before he even realized it, Reid was locked in a room with anthrax.

"Morgan," Hotch breathed, offering Morgan a sense of comfort as well as a warning. "Patience. They are likely working with the cure and without that, Reid has no chance."

Well, that certainly quieted Morgan. He knew that Hotch was right but it certainly didn't make any of this easier. He looked at the rest of the team and realized just how different they all were when worried or scared. Hotch basically looked the same as always, with maybe more stern creases in his stony face, Emily was quiet and still and all her concern was in her eyes. JJ looked different than normal and Morgan knew it was due to her previous concern for her son as well as Reid. Now that she knew the anthrax threat was over, there seemed to be a slight sense of relief as well as more concern for Reid.

Rossi and Garcia were the same as always; Rossi carefully looked over them all, worry present somewhere on his face though he was never easy to figure out whereas as Garcia had watery eyes and held her hands tightly on lap. And, Morgan paced and got mad. That was just the way he did it.

"Dr. Kimura," Morgan heard Hotch say and immediately spun around to see the female doctor coming to stop in front of them. They were all on their feet now, eagerly waiting to hear anything on Reid's condition.

"First of all, congratulations on the capture of Brown. That, no doubt, saved the lives of many," Kimura said quickly as a greeting then proceeded right away. "I'm assuming you are here for information on Dr. Reid…?"

"Yes, we are. How is he?" Hotchner said, as stony-faced as ever.

Kimura took a deep breath. "He's alive," she said simply. "We've only just now been able to administer the cure found in Dr. Nichol's lab. It, as you may imagine, had to undergo several tests before we could use it on humans."

They all remained quiet while she paused another moment.

"As I told someone at the FBI, Dr. Reid's condition did progress to a state near to that of our established patients at a record pace…"

"But why?" Garcia blurted out. "He's young and healthy… I don't understand."

"Before entering Dr. Nichol's lab, Dr. Reid cut his hand on bush outside the home. This, unfortunately, granted the powder direct access to his bloodstream, as well as him breathing it into his lungs. Together, the poison was able to attack his body on two separate levels, causing his condition to worsen very quickly."

"Okay, but how is he now?" Morgan asked, needing to know what to expect.

"Well, it's difficult to say at this exact moment," Kimura said slowly. "As I said, we've given the cure to him as well as the other four, and while we've yet to see improvements, none of the patients have worsened and that in itself is a promising sign."

"Do you expect them to live?" Rossi said, sounding surprisingly calm but to-the-point.

Kimura paused for a moment. "My personal guess? I do believe they will make it, yes. But I will tell you now, Dr. Reid alone is… _very _sick. I know my last update to the FBI informed you all of his respiratory arrest, of which we still have in on the respirator for, and from there, his body is rattled with fever and exhaustion. Much of his survival and overall recovery will depend on his strength. Given his refusal to accept any pain killers…"

"He what?" Hotch interrupted. Morgan looked at the others and saw the same look. The kid had refused pain killers. They all knew of his history with drugs, but that had been quite some time ago and this was anthrax, for God's sake.

"He refused to accept any pain killers for a very long time. We eventually convinced him to allow us to give him a limited amount, but even then it's probably only enough to basically keep him alive."

"What do you mean?" Emily asked.

"Well, for the patients that have lasted this long, much of their survival was because of the narcotics keeping them comfortable. You must understand the extreme pain that comes with having a disease a severe as anthrax. As I said, he eventually agreed to some but I know the pain is intense."

"Reid is strong," Hotch said, pulling them all from their deep thoughts. "If his survival is dependent on strength, then we are pretty lucky."

This, they could agree on. Morgan knew the kid was immensely strong, even if his tall, slender form betrayed that fact.

Kimura smiled. "I have a feeling you're right."

"When can we see him?" JJ asked, asking a question they all wanted an answer to.

"Normally, we would be very hesitant to allow visitors so early, however, because he is on very little narcotics, he is awake more than I would like which means he's more aware of the pain. That being said, visitors may help distract him. I think I may allow one of you in at once and we'll see how he handles it."

Morgan looked at the others and thought about how badly he wanted to see the younger agent. Hotch caught his eye and gave him a small nod as if he knew what Morgan was craving.

"Allow me to reiterate just how ill he is, though," Kimura said with as a warning, immediately bringing Morgan back down from his brief excitement. "As I said before, he has a high fever, meaning he is usually unable to focus. He is still on a ventilator and lesions have formed on his neck and arms. "

"We understand, Doctor," Rossi said, his voice cutting through the intense air just created by her comment. The last time Derek had seen him, Reid looked fine. Well, a little paler than usual and coughing, but otherwise fine. The person Kimura just described didn't sound fine at all.

"Alright, well, I can take the first person back if you are all ready," Kimura said, looking from person to person to see which one was going to go first.

"Morgan," Hotch spoke up rather quickly. "You go first."

Morgan nodded and felt a sense of relief mixed with nerves wash over him at the thought of seeing Reid, knowing how sick he was. Kimura turned and started back the way she came and Morgan followed after a somber nod to the rest of the team.

Morgan felt his heart rate increase as they got nearer to Reid's room and found it odd how nervous he was. Finally, Kimura stopped in front of a room that had a glass window, permitting Morgan a first glimpse of his sick friend. However, apart from the blatant fact that Reid was on a ventilator, it was difficult to see much else.

"He's right in here," Dr. Kimura said as she opened the door to the room and held it for Morgan, then followed him once he had walked through.

Morgan slowly approached the bed, his stomach twisting in knots the closer he got. The kid looked… hell, like a damn kid. So much smaller and more fragile than ever before, which was really saying something. Morgan continued to look Reid over, amazed at how the dark circles seemed even darker and his cheeks more sunken. But what got Morgan the most, apart from the tube coming from the kid's mouth, was the dried blood along the collar and top portions of his hospital gown.

Derek momentarily had to look away as horrifying images of blood dripping from Reid's mouth after violent coughing spells raced through his mind. It simply wasn't fair. With all the guns and bombs and crazy people that had nearly killed the young agent, it was a fine white powder that had him the closest to death's door and in the worst shape.

_Physically, _Morgan corrected himself as he tried to find some sort of positivity. Reid had not been tortured or anything that should hurt him nearly as much mentally, and that was a blessing at least.

"I'm seeing slight improvements," Dr. Kimura said, pulling Morgan from his thoughts. He turned to see her placing Reid's chart back in its holder. "Slight, but promising."

"So, he'll get better for sure?"

"I do believe so, yes," Kimura answered. "I do strongly believe, however, that his condition would be far better had he accepted the painkillers. Pain, alone, can have devastating effects."

Morgan looked away from her, not wanting to think about Reid refusing something that would ease his pain but also understanding why he did it.

"I'm sensing this is a sensitive subject," the doctor said quietly.

"Yeah," Morgan replied, still not looking her. "Reid's been through while on the job. Some of the worst stuff a person can go through."

"Well, he can now add anthrax to that list," she added softly, sadly.

Morgan nodded and then something occurred to him. "Can I talk to you outside?"

Kimura looked surprised but recovered quickly. "Yes. Of course.'

They stepped outside and, out of the desire to get back in there as quick as possible, Derek began speaking right away.

"I realized with the information you've heard so far, you can pretty much guess why he doesn't want painkillers, right?"

"I have my guesses," Kimura replied, still apparently confused as to where this was going.

"Okay look, a few years back, he was abducted and tortured by a schizophrenic man and was constantly having Dilaudid shoved in him," Morgan said quickly, not allowing himself time enough to consider whether or not it was right to be telling her this, but he felt she ought to know. "He ended up developing a small addition, but he's been clean for a long time now. I just don't want you to get the wrong idea about him. He is very strong."

Dr. Kimura looked at him for a moment and Morgan was surprised at how he suddenly felt angry at the idea of her judging Reid for something.

"Agent Morgan, I cannot even imagine what an FBI profiler goes through with every case. Obviously, on this particular case alone, one of you were infected with a deadly form of anthrax. The fact that anyone would do a job such as yours is proof enough that you are all very strong. Addictions and issues such as those are, perhaps not acceptable, but almost expected," Dr. Kimura said softly and kindly, gaining more of Derek's respect with every word. "I do not hold any sort of negative judgment towards Dr. Reid from what I know if him, including this new information. In fact, you have only reinforced my faith in him pulling through this. I just hate to think that he has had to endure anything worse than this."

Morgan let out a deep sigh and decided he made the right choice.

"Thanks," he said. "Just… you know, don't mention that you know anything."

"Of course not," Kimura said. "I appreciate you telling me." She then turned around and looked through the glass. "He's awake."

Morgan's heart stopped temporarily as he saw the slightest movement coming from Reid's bed before bolting back into the room along with Kimura.

"Reid," he said softly as he approached the kid's bed. Soft brown eyes could only been seen through tiny slits and it was apparent that even though Reid was technically awake, he was not all there. Morgan saw one of his hands clench weakly then watched as the kid's eyes rather frantically moved over him and Kimura.

"Doc…," Morgan said fearfully. "What the hell is wrong with him?"

"Don't worry, Agent. This is due to his high temperature," Kimura said quickly as she placed her hand on Reid's face. "Dr. Reid, please calm down for me. Someone has come to see you."

She then moved back and gave Morgan some room to get up there. The wild look and feverish look of Reid's face scared him, but Morgan didn't let it stop him.

"Hey Reid. Everyone's here waiting for you to get better, okay?"

Relief filled Morgan's body as Reid focused into Morgan's eyes, showing some level of recognition and even a hint of coherence.

"We got the guy and you've been given a cure. You did it, kid. Now just close your eyes and get some rest. We need you outta here as soon as possible."

Reid stared at him for a moment more and Morgan was quite sure that he had gotten through to the fever-stricken man. Slowly, Reid blinked a few times tiredly before his eyes didn't reopen.

"Nice job, Agent."

"Call me Derek," he replied. "And thanks. For the compliment and keeping him alive."

She chuckled. "Well, I couldn't have done it without him."

Derek then laughed too. "Yeah, that's just how it goes with him. At the end of the day, you think you did something good then you realize it was pretty much all him," he said, looking over at the now sleeping Reid.

He smiled. "I wouldn't trade it for the world though."

* * *

**EN: **I'm not sure if I'll continue this or not. I kind of want to just because I like writing and would like to do more, but honestly, I'm not going to write more if no one else seems to be interested. Not a ploy for comments, promise, but I'm at the last week of school with finals coming up, I'm suffering through mono right now and my parents are divorcing. Bottom line, I'm tired. So, while I'd like to do some more, I will only if others want it too.

K, either way, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!!


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: **Okay so after I got a message begging for a continuation, I decided why not? So here this is. Honestly, it's just about another member of the team reacting to Reid's illness and less of an actual plot line but that was kind of the idea anyway. That being said, I don't know how well it will flow or how good it will be overall, but hopefully someone enjoys it!

**Warning: **unbeta'd. All mistakes are my own. Still spoilers for Amplification from season 4 if you haven't seen it.

That's it! Hope you all enjoy :)

* * *

It had been a rough night. A _very _rough night. Mostly for Reid as he struggled to make it through the seemingly endless hours of darkness, but it was just as long for the remaining team members who stayed knowing that if they didn't, there would be no one else there for the young man when he finally came to.

Garcia was amongst those that stayed behind, accompanied by Morgan as well as Rossi. JJ, of course, desperately wanted to return home to her own family after such a scare and Emily had stayed for a while, but had eventually decided to return home, get a few hours of sleep, and then come back. No one had been surprised when Morgan said he planned on remaining at the hospital but Rossi's decision had been slightly surprising; but most things he did seemed to be a little unexpected. As for Garcia, she couldn't bear to go home considering she hadn't been able to see Reid for herself and one of their last conversations together had had a very somber tone of Reid acknowledging the fact that he may not make it out of this one.

"So, he did wake up?" she asked suddenly, wanting to hear that one piece of good news again as more dark thoughts began to take over. Morgan had been the only one who saw Reid and after that, Dr. Kimura decided that as long as Reid was asleep, there would be no visitors.

"Yes, baby girl. He woke up," Morgan restated for at least the fifth time but Penelope didn't care. It made her feel better.

"So you saw those beautiful brown eyes?"

Morgan chuckled. "What kind of question is that?"

"Oh, well you have beautiful brown eyes too…" she began, but Morgan cut her off with more laughter.

"Yes. Yes I saw his dreamy brown eyes. Feel better?"

"Perhaps when I see them for myself," she replied as she thought ahead to when she would be able to see him. She hated that his strangled speech and attempts to suppress coughing fits were the last she had heard of him and was plagued with it replaying through her head like a broken record. She wanted to see him; make a new memory to replace the last one.

Garcia laid her head back against the chair she was sitting in. It had been hours since they last heard from Kimura and they were beginning to get antsy. And about twenty minutes ago, Rossi had gotten up and declared that he was going to find something out. Garcia had learned a long time ago that finding out information in a hospital was not likely; you had to wait for it to come to you.

"He's been taken off the ventilator."

Morgan and Garcia both jumped at the sound of Rossi's voice.

"What?"

"They took him off," Rossi repeated with a grin. "Apparently his lungs were well enough to breathe on their own."

Garcia erupted into a smile. It was some of the best news they had heard yet.

"Hmm, my thunder seems to have been stolen," came the unmistakable voice of Dr. Kimura. "Unless there is something else to celebrate that I'm unaware of, Dr. Reid has, indeed, been removed from the ventilation system."

"So his chances are even better now, right?" Rossi asked.

"Yes, they have improved greatly. In the case of this illness, the lungs are one of the most vital organs involved so the fact that his are well enough to work on their own is a wonderful sign."

Penelope was beyond happy. Her little man was most definitely getting better and would be back to himself in no time.

"Now, he is awake and probably will be for a little while, so I don't mind someone going in to sit with him but please understand, he remains very ill and is still experiencing aphasia."

Garcia frowned. "Aphasia? Isn't that when you can't speak?"

The doctor nodded. "It is when the brain has a difficult time piecing together logical statements. Some words may make sense, while others will not. It will wear off on its own."

"Thank you, Doctor," Rossi said and the others nodded in agreement.

"Of course," she replied. "One of you may join him at any time, but please, do not excite him in any way. His body needs as much rest as possible." Kimura then nodded as a goodbye and turned to leave.

A quick silence fell over them as the question hung in the air: who would go in the room with Reid?

"Garcia," Morgan said, making her jump ever so slightly. "Why don't you go?"

"What?"

"Yeah," Rossi said. "I think you'd be the best out of us three for him right now."

Garcia frowned. " Thank you, but may I ask why?"

Rossi looked at Morgan then back at her. Penelope could tell that he wasn't quite sure what to say but she was going to let him squirm until he figured it out. "You the happiest," he answered finally. "You are the most lively and the most innocent."

At that, Morgan scoffed and turned away with a huge smile on his face.

"Hey!" Garcia said with mock anger. "I am _so _innocent. Keep going, Agent Rossi."

Rossi laughed. "I just think that it may do him good to see someone a bit more lighthearted right now. That's all."

"Yeah he's right," Morgan agreed, though Garcia could tell he wanted to go back in there.

Garcia bit her bottom lip. She wanted to see him really bad, but then again, he was so sick. She didn't want to see him like that. And then there was the aphasia…

"But what do I do?!" she said quickly as the thought occurred to her. "He can't even talk! And he's so sick… So pitiful…"

"Garcia," Morgan said seriously as he grabbed her shoulders. "It's Reid."

Garcia waited a moment for him to continue, but when he didn't, she realized it wasn't necessary anyway. It _was _Reid in there. Even if he was sick and unable to talk, it was still her Junior G-man.

"You're right," she said, pulling away from Derek's grasp. "You're right." She then turned and started to walk away, but soon stopped. "Um, I don't know where I'm going."

Morgan laughed then pointed down the hallway. "Room 1101. It's a little ways down the hall on your left."

"On my left, got it."

* * *

He felt contained in a world of haze and clouds, only being able to piece together a portion of the events that led to this moment. The rest were all flashes of things that could be memory, could be fever-induced works of his imagination. All he knew for sure was that he felt like he had gotten hit by a truck. He was aware of the oxygen mask on his face but was pretty sure he remembered a tube being down his throat at one point, so this was definitely an improvement. Other than that, he felt like he had the world's worst case of the flu.

Probably the worst part of it all was how confused and slow his brain seemed to be. It scared him in a way that reminded him only of that terrible time when drugs were forced into his system, and likewise, then chose to force them on himself. And he absolutely couldn't stand it.

He looked around the room for a moment but stopped and clenched his eyes shut when the movement made him nauseous and his head ache. A part of him longed to have someone there, but no one was. It was okay though because Reid knew the only reason his friends wouldn't be with him is if they were still trying to catch the killer or if they weren't allowed in. And for some reason, he thought he remembered Morgan saying the guy had been caught so it was likely the latter of the two.

Reid turned to look at the monitor beside his bed and winced at the dizziness and pain that accompanied it. Once it cleared enough to read the numbers, he observed his own vital signs and discovered that he most certainly had a fever with a temperature of 102.7. It could be worse, he thought.

He then looked around what he considered to be a cubical of a hospital room that had big glass walls. So, maybe it was more so like a fishbowl than a cubical. And he was the fish.

Reid closed his eyes as he was suddenly reminded of William Faulkner's classic, _As I Lay Dying, _in which one of the speakers believes his own mother is a fish. Immediately, Reid began to reread the novel in his head but was interrupted by the sound of footsteps nearby. With great effort, he opened his eyes and saw the face of a blond-haired woman with soft, kind eyes.

Garcia, he thought with a smile.

* * *

"Reid," she said so softly, it was basically a whisper.

He looked nothing short of terrible and it killed her. In many ways, he looked even worse than he had on that little computer monitor back in Georgia. He was pale, so pale, with the exception of his bright red cheeks, no doubt a result of his high fever.

She watched as his half-glazed, swollen eyes wandered over to her, not completely seeing her but it was good enough for the time being. He looked the very definition of weak and frail, but there was no doubt about it, this was her Reid.

"How are you feeling?" she asked without thinking.

"Wait, don't answer that," she added quickly. "It's quite obvious you don't feel so good. I mean, you don't look bad or anything… okay, you do. But you just look sick. Really, really sick. But you're still very handsome…"

Garcia had no idea why she was stumbling so much, but Reid simply looked amused if not slightly confused.

"Well," she continued, "I guess you know we got Brown and all that so no worries there and Dr. Kimura, as far as I know, administered the other patients with the vaccine so hopefully that will work. It's working for you!"

Reid continued to watch her with a glossy look in his eye but the half-smile he wore on his face made it clear he understood at least some of what she was saying.

"And… um…," she said, trying to keep light conversation going but it was getting so hard to hold back her emotions. She knew it would be best to keep things light for Reid's sake but she couldn't stand holding back all that she wanted to say to him.

"Oh pumpkin! Why must you always end up in these dreadful hospital rooms?!" she blurted finally, losing her internal battle. "It seems like every time I turn around I get a phone call saying you're in trouble. And this time… this time I was sure I'd never have the chance to get another phone call…"

Reid frowned, though Garcia knew it was due to guilt which made her feel extremely bad. She began to apologize but before she could say anything, he started speaking first.

"'Mm… show," he tried, then clenched his eyes shut. "I'm… story."

"Reid…" Penelope said, suddenly terrified by the fact that Reid couldn't speak. The fear was immense and indescribable, taking her by surprise.

"Mm s-sol-sorry."

Garcia sat in her chair, completely in shock and at a loss of what to do or say. She had seen Reid beaten, she'd seen him bloody, crying, in terrible amounts of pain and even, technically, dead. But never had she seen, or imagined she would ever see, him struggling to do something as easy as speak. Especially since most of the time he was rambling about some interesting fact or other. But watching him try so hard to get out two simple words made her heart ache in a way she had never known.

A part of her wanted to run away and the other wanted to stay with him. Instead, she just sat there and stared at him.

"The… af-aphasia why-w-will go away s-soon," he managed to say, his eyes staring right back into hers.

Immediately, Garcia felt another spasm of guilt, realizing that _he_ was trying to console _her_. She suddenly felt a tear roll down her cheek but quickly wiped it away.

"I know," she whispered. "I'm so sorry Reid. I've just never… I never thought I'd see _you_ like… this."

Reid smiled then said, "D-don't got-get used to is-it."

Penelope laughed when she figured out what he was trying to say. She laughed and felt much of her fears and anxieties melt away. Yes, Reid was terribly sick and she had seen the young man in many different terrible conditions, but what mattered was that she'd see him again.

And with that thought, Garcia watched as his eyes slid shut and simply enjoyed the silence, knowing that soon, Reid would be right back to non-stop chatter and that's exactly what she wanted.

* * *

**EN: **Hope you guys liked it! I also hope you were able to follow along with what Reid was saying.. ha it's kinda hard writing... wrong? Ha I don't know. So yeah... review if you got a chance or feel like it. Otherwise thanks so much for reading! Oh, and if I continue this any more, it would like be once Reid left the hospital maybe but was still recovering...? Ha I don't know!


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: **Hello again! Okay, so after much begging to continue this, I decided I would. And the chapter I initially started working on has since been pushed aside as a good chapter four as I decided I wanted at least one more chapter like this one before we move on to the next stage. I don't know if that makes sense for anyone, but it will after you read the next chapter. What you should take from this: there will be at least one more chapter after this.

**Warning: **I beta'd it myself and we all know how effective that is. Oh well. Also, I tried to write dialogue for Reid who still has aphasia and let me tell you, it is hard. So, here's quick key. Where there are dashes "-' that means Reid is messing up his words. For example, if you see "I lib-love Clom-clim-Criminal Minds" then... that means I love Criminal Minds! Ha, I'm sure you'll be able to keep up with it, but just in case. And finally, spoilers for Amplification.

* * *

It had been three days since the anthrax scare and things were winding down, but JJ was still having problems coming to terms with it all. It wasn't the anthrax scare itself, it was the fact that now, because of Henry, she had come so close to breaking protocol to ensure that her son would be okay. And even now that it was all over, she still wasn't sure which one was the right thing to do. She knew breaking protocol was wrong, and yet the idea of Henry getting sick when all she had to do was tell Will to stay home was unbearable.

JJ shook her head as she approached the entrance to the hospital. She hadn't been back to see Reid quite since the first day and honestly, that was another thing that was bothering her. Even after Reid had gotten sick and was, in essence, dying, all JJ could think about was Henry. She knew it wasn't necessarily wrong that her thoughts had been with her son, but on the other hand, she had known Reid for so long and he was like family. It bothered her, right or wrong, that she hadn't felt much concern for him until they had caught the unsub.

She bit her lip. Surely there was enough room inside her for concern over her family and her friends. This anthrax scare had done little to prove that, however.

"I'm looking for Agent Spencer Reid," she said as she reached the front desk. "Is he still in the same room?"

The young woman behind the desk did something on her computer, then looked up and nodded. "Yes ma'am. He's still in room 1101 down that hall and on your right," she said, gesturing down the nearest hallway.

"Thank you," JJ replied with her standard smile that was used constantly while working her job.

She began her rather slow walk down the hallway to Reid's room. She didn't know what to expect. The last time she saw him had been so soon after the incident, so surely he had to look better now. She had heard Garcia say that he was still having problems talking, which made JJ feel sick to her stomach, but that had been yesterday or the day before… maybe he was better now…?

With room 1101 now in sight, JJ took a deep breath and decided that everything was going to be okay.

When she entered the room, the first thing that stood out to her was the sunlight. So many times she felt like the hospital rooms, bad enough on their own, were made so much worse by the absence of light. The pleasantness of the sunlight helped to counter the sight of Reid.

He was propped up with several flat-looking pillows, and seemed to be asleep. His skin was paler than she could ever remember seeing it, except for the bright red circles on his sunken cheeks. He definitely still had a fever, JJ thought wearily as she walked closer to the young man.

She could now see a couple of bandages on various parts of his arms and one was sticking out from under the hospital gown on his chest, no doubt the remnants of the nasty legions that came with the sickness. She looked at his face and tried to resist the urge to carefully slide the pieces of straggly hair that had fallen over his sickly features. JJ then began to notice other unpleasant sights such as the wires protruding from the neckline of his hospital gown and a small tube that ran underneath his nose, helping him breathe.

Oh, he looked terrible, JJ thought sadly to herself. Suddenly she felt her guilt intensify. For days Reid had been stuck in this hospital, ridiculously sick, and yet JJ had barely even come to see him. She was sure that at least one person from the team had been checking on him, but he had almost died, for goodness sake. JJ was suddenly sickened by the idea that she had hardly thought about him after he had gotten sick. He needed all of them and yet, because of the case, no one had been able to be there for him for the worst part of his illness.

JJ collapsed sadly into a chair that was already set up beside his bed and just watched him sleep. She never thought about how sick a person could get. Three days after catching the illness and Reid was still bed-ridden. JJ sighed and focused on the reassuring rising and falling motion of Reid's stomach.

After a few moments, however, JJ noticed that Reid was squirming slightly in his bed. She looked at his face and felt her stomach temporarily clench when she realized he was trying to open his eyes. After groggily blinking a few times, his eyes stayed open and eventually focused on JJ.

His tired but genuine smile had JJ confused about how she felt; sorry he felt so bad or happy that he was awake and smiling at all. She decided it wasn't important, though, and smiled back at him.

"Hey Spence," she said softly. "How are you holding up?"

She watched as he seemed to consider this, and ended up just shrugging lightly. JJ decided that was good enough for her.

"That good, huh?" she said with a smirk. "Well, from what I understand, you're getting better every day. That's wonderful news."

Reid nodded and proceeded to yawn, which ended up in a cough. JJ winced at the how deep it sounded.

"Are you at least feeling better than before?" she asked, feeling more and more worried by the fact that he wouldn't speak. Then again, she was a little scared about what would happen if he did try to talk.

"Yes," he said kindly, apparently sensing her growing concern. Well, she thought, he got that right at least. His voice was raspy, though, and sounded just as weak as the rest of him looked. "Nim-not dying… anytime," he stopped and closed his eyes before correcting himself, "_anymore._"

JJ tried to pretend she didn't notice his struggles, a choice she wasn't sure helped or made him feel worse, and simply reached out and softly grabbed his hand.

"That's always a good thing," she said calmly.

They stayed like this for a moment and JJ could feel his eyes on her the whole time. She wasn't sure what he was thinking, but she felt like he was seeing right through you.

"You okay?" he asked.

The question took her by surprise even though she probably should have expected it.

"Yes," she answered with a somewhat forced smile. "Yes, I'm just… I don't know. That case was… so bad," she finished, trying desperately to keep the conversation light.

JJ looked at Reid and saw that he was once again studying her in the way profilers did, only his gaze and energy was certainly lacking focus.

"Henry?" he asked softly.

JJ stared at him in slight awe. Was she really that easy to read? Yes, Reid was an amazing profiler but he was also drugged up and sick with a fever.

"How…," she began, then decided it was no use to ask. "Yeah… he's all I could think about. That whole time," she said carefully, not wanting to out-right say she hadn't really been concerned for Reid.

Reid watched her for a moment but JJ was somewhat surprised by the fact that she didn't feel like he was judging her at all. Finally, he seemed to think of some interesting fact, a look that she knew too well.

"During pregnancy," he began after clearing his throat, "the pri-production of hormones ox-oxytocin and prolactin sla-serve many necessary fla-fun-functions, but recent studies sol-sid-suggest that they are also the reason mok-mothers develop such a sul-stul-strong, life long bond with their child."

JJ listened carefully, having to distinguish between what he accidentally said and what he actually meant to say, but realized he was using his multitudes of random knowledge to make her feel better.

"Also," he continued after catching his breath, "this boss-bond comes up in dis-discussions over whether or now-not altruism elt-em-exists. Parents, esem-especially mothers, usually say yet-yes." He stopped for a moment and looked her in the eyes before continuing.

" Our job is daner-dangerous. First real til-time that bond was ques-questioned."

JJ stared at him, unsure of what to say. He had, in essence, pinpointed her exact problem and gave scientific proof of why it was justified. She felt an immense amount of gratitude towards him in that moment and marveled at how strong he could be sometimes.

"So," she said slowly, trying to think about what to say next, "do you think the job will… get easier even though I have Henry?"

Reid shrugged but nodded a little too. "It sol-should. Hopefully there whim-won't be mus-many cases like this," he said with a small grin.

JJ laughed quietly. "I can agree with you there, Spence. Or maybe we should just keep you in a bubble."

He laughed very slightly at this, but JJ felt bad when it ended up being a cough. After a moment or two of the hard coughs, he quieted down and seemed absolutely drained.

"A bubble," he said, once again catching his breath, "would bet-be little defense agan-against most thro-threats."

JJ smirked. "If I didn't know any better, Dr. Reid, I'd say you were being a smart-aleck."

Reid shrugged in response. "It's true, though. Until-unless it was crafted of…"

"I get it, I get it," JJ said light-heartedly, cutting him off. "Keeping you out of trouble goes way beyond a bubble."

Reid seemed to give up at this point and simply relaxed into his pillows, looking rather content. Extremely sick, but content. He and JJ sat like this for quite some time enjoying simple talk, mostly conducted by JJ, until Reid's eyelids began to grow very heavy. JJ continued to talk, seeing that it put him at ease, until his eyes finally shut and he fell asleep.

He was right about Henry and the whole motherhood thing. This case had been the first time her career and her role as a mother crossed paths in a very frightening way, one that made her question both. But, she had found an answer, she felt, although she couldn't explain it right now. Still, sitting here, watching Reid sleep she knew that if another case like this one ever came up, God forbid, she would, if nothing else, handle it in the best way she knew how.

And, even if it ended up not being the greatest choice, something told her the people she cared about would somehow understand and love her all the same. With that comforting thought, JJ lightly patted Reid's hand, rose from her seat, and made her way out of the hospital and to her home.

* * *

**En: **Well, I do hope some of you enjoyed it and Hotch is next for you Hotch lovers. Also, because I'm super excited about it, I've decided what I want to do with me life. (I'm about to graduate high school and go on to college). I've already been accepted into the University of Central Florida, which is perfect as I've always wanted to have a career at Disney, and I just found out they have a separate campus devoted to my future major: Hospitality Management! And it's in the heart of tourist-infest Orlando and therefore close to Disney! Yaaay! Well anyway, that's all and sorry for the random facts about my life! Review if you can!:)


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: **Dedicated to **blackhope88** who has been pleasantly persistent about updating it. Sorry it's taken so long, but this isn't a normal story for me... It was never really meant to go past a one shot so... yeah :)

**Warnings: **Not beta'd. Mistakes are my own.

Enjoy :)

* * *

Aaron Hotchner rounded the familiar corners of the hospital as he made his way to Reid's room. Over the past few days he had practically memorized all the important rooms of the hospital – Reid's room, the restroom, the coffee room, etc. – but it certainly did nothing to make him feel at ease. It was the fact that it was a hospital in general, of course, but what made it worse was that there had been a time, in this very hospital, when he had been sure his youngest agent was going to die of anthrax.

It hadn't happened, amazingly, but they had come so close to losing him Aaron could hardly bare to think about it. The case itself had been one of their worst nightmares come to life and they had always known it could happen, but when it did, Aaron realized that there is no way to fully prepare agents for such a situation. One of their own falling ill was an even more unfortunate element, particularly because they had to, in essence, ignore their dying colleague until the case was solved.

Luckily, the case was solved soon after Reid got sick but by that time, Reid was too ill to even recognize them. That was a week ago, though, and since then, Reid had made considerable improvements in his overall health. At least one of the team members had been with him basically at all times, Aaron had made certain of that, and they were thankfully able to slowly watch him get better. Actually, the last Hotch heard, Reid was showing very few signs of aphasia which put them all at ease. Reid not being able to string together simple statements was perhaps the most devastating condition they had ever seen him in.

Now that he was getting better, he had begun to practically beg to be discharged from the hospital. It wasn't that Aaron didn't agree with Dr. Kimura for keeping Reid in the hospital because the kid was still unbelievably sick, but as the days passed, Hotch couldn't help but feel that as long as he was well taken care of, Reid would be better off staying with someone.

And that was exactly what Hotch had just convinced Kimura of.

Finally reaching the rather open room that had been Reid's home for the past week, Aaron was greeted by the most pleasant sight he had seen in days. Reid was propped up against his pillows, practically sitting upright, with his glasses on and a book in his hands. Had it not been for nasal tube lightly sending air into his lungs and the visible weakness of the young man, he almost looked normal.

"Good morning, Reid," Aaron greeted as he walked up to Reid's bed.

Reid jumped slightly at the sound of his voice, which made Aaron smile. The smile faded, however, when Aaron got a good look at Reid's weary eyes. They were still somewhat swollen and his cheeks were flushed but the smile that grew on his face made him look a little better.

"Hotch," Reid replied simply. "How are you?"

Hotch had to smile once again. That was supposed to be what he asked Reid.

"I'm alright," Hotch replied none the less. "How about you?"

Reid shrugged a little. "Felt worse."

"Every bit counts, I suppose," Aaron continued then watched as Reid shifted uncomfortably in his bed. Aaron sympathized; those hospital beds were anything but comfortable especially after spending nearly seven straight days in them.

"So, are you ready to get out?" Aaron asked carefully, observing Reid's reaction. As expected, his face lit up for a moment before he returned to looking tired and sick.

"Very much so," he replied. "But my fever is pretty much sticking rod," he stopped for a moment and then corrected himself, "_around _and they keep changing my meddles," he stopped again and Hotch could see the frustration in his eyes but he did not react to Reid's difficulty speaking. "_Medicine. _What I'm _trying _to say is I doubt they'll let me leave."

"Yes," interjected Dr. Kimura who had just quietly slipped into the room. "I would prefer you to stay here for a few more days or at least until your fever broke and your O2 levels were better, but," she said, turning to look at Hotch, "Agent Hotchner here was rather persuasive in his argument to let you leave."

Reid's face lit up at this and he quickly turned to look at Aaron who was suddenly reminded of Jack on Christmas mornings. The thought made it hard for him to hold back a smile.

"Not so fast," Kimura said with a small, but warning-filled grin. "As eager as you are to leave my staff and me, there are a few rules you both need to know. And should anyone else be caring for him, they too will need to be informed."

Aaron noticed Reid's frown after this statement, but he ignored it for the moment and replied, "Of course."

"Right," Kimura continued, glancing down at a chart in her hand. "Someone needs to stay with him throughout the day. As I said, Dr. Reid, your body is still extremely weak from fighting off such a devastating pathogen so it would be nearly impossible for you to efficiently take care of yourself for the next few days."

Hotch listened carefully and nodded, still ignoring the look of confusion on Reid's face.

"Also, I'm sending several medications with you, Agent Hotchner, that will need to be administered daily. They are to help defend against any additional infections as your body is at its weakest point and will find it difficult to fight off some of the simplest pathogens."

"Apart from that," she continued, taking a deep breath, "you'll need to get the standard things: lots of liquids, lots of sleep."

Aaron nodded and looked at Reid who seemed discontent about something.

"I have to be watched all of the time?" he asked, still frowning.

"Yes, Dr. Reid," Kimura answered kindly. "As I said, you wouldn't be able to adequately care for yourself. So, either you stay in the hospital or you can go under the care of your colleagues and friends."

The answer did not satisfy him and he instead turned to look at Hotch.

"I don't want you hill," he stopped and coughed. "_guys_," he corrected once he was done coughing, "to have to watch me twenty-four, seven."

"This is non-negotiable," Aaron said sternly, "It _is _your choice, however. We wouldn't mind if you would prefer to stay here. "

Aaron watched as Reid's weary mind considered this.

"Reid, I've already spoken to everyone and they are, believe it or not, more than eager to help you out," he said, trying to make the decision easier. "So you can either accept these conditions or you can remain here in the hospital."

Reid remained in deep thought, glancing at Aaron and Dr. Kimura a few times before sighing.

"You are certain they don't mil-mind?" he asked finally.

"Of course not, Reid," Aaron answered. "In fact, they would prefer to visit you in a home anyway. Believe it or not, they don't like hospitals as much as you seem to."

Reid smiled tiredly but it was something.

"Is it settled then?" Dr. Kimura asked. "Shall I begin preparations for your departure?"

Aaron watched as Reid seemed to go over any last minute objections but was pleased to see him nod in agreement. Reid would finally be leaving the hospital.

* * *

Reid hated hospitals. He really did and everyone knew that so when Hotch had presented the possibility of leaving, Reid had been more than enthusiastic. However, the thought of people having to babysit him was not appealing. It was not because he thought he could take care of himself because given his current state, he knew he would need the help for a little longer. It was simply because he didn't want to put his team through that.

They were profilers, not babysitters and nurses.

Reid sighed as he allowed a nurse to help him slip on one of his loose shirts that Hotch had brought for him. It did feel nice to get out of the hospital gown.

"There you go, Dr. Reid," the nurse said with a pleasant smile. "All done. You should be ready to leave very soon."

Reid nodded and thanked her before collapsing back down into his pillows. He hated how terrible he felt. It had been days and while he certainly didn't feel as bad anymore, he still felt so sick. Reid was not accustom to illness so whenever he did get sick, it was usually pretty bad. But this was unlike anything he could remember. Of course, that would make sense seeing as how it was caused by anthrax.

Still, he was improving and that's what mattered. Reid relaxed for the time being, knowing someone would be coming into his room again soon to further prepare him to leave. After a few minutes, he heard a knock coming from the opening to the room.

He rolled on to his side as he pushed himself back into a sitting position and was greeted by the smiling face of Dr. Kimura.

"It's nice to see you in regular clothing again," she said as she walked closer to him.

"Feels nice, too," he said truthfully.

Kimura nodded knowingly, "Yes, we are not famous for our clothing line of hospital gowns and scrubs but we hopefully make up for it in our customer service."

Reid chuckled a bit at this and nodded. "My being ally-alive is proof enough to me."

"Well, I hold your current state as a combined effort," Kimura replied. "We couldn't have saved you or the other patients without your help."

Reid shrugged and looked away. He had been doing his job and his suggestion on the type of place the vaccine would be hidden in was pretty straight-forward for any profiler.

"I mean that, Dr. Reid," Dr. Kimura continued. "And I'm glad you are well enough to leave but please keep in mind you're still very sick and any complication that may arise, any new symptom, and you are to come back to be checked out, understood."

Reid wanted to frown but held back. He felt very much like a child at this point even though he knew Dr. Kimura was only trying to maintain his improving health.

"I understand," he replied.

Kimura smiled and then nodded, "Right, well I guess this is goodbye for now but you are to come back in a week regardless of your condition."

Reid nodded and then looked past her to see a nurse pushing a wheelchair into the room with Hotch following behind her. Reid sighed. He hated wheelchairs but knew there was absolutely no point in protesting. Instead, he forced a smile and held back a cough that wanted to come out.

"Your chariot awaits, Dr. Reid," the nurse said pleasantly as she pushed it to his bed.

Reid smiled in return and then stood up, trying to hide the fact that he felt very woozy. Slowly he lowered himself into the chair.

"Alright Agent Hotchner," Dr. Kimura said once Reid was settled into his chair, "I guess that is it for now. As I told Dr. Reid, should any new symptoms come up, he should be brought back in right away. Other than that, take good care of him and hopefully I'll see you in a week."

Reid smiled and waved goodbye to Dr. Kimura and the nurse and sighed in relief and exhaustion as Hotch slowly began to push him towards the exit of the hospital.

The conditions of his departure, though not ideal, were certainly better than staying and for that reason, Reid was rather content.

* * *

**EN: **There you are :) I will update this, I just don't know when. So, if you hate waiting, you may want to wait until it offically is done before reading. Your call :) Thanks for reading everyone :)


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